The 2020 Preseason - You Can't Stop Halloween
Of all the craziness I have seen this year, the premise that Halloween is canceled because of COVID is the craziest. I mean, the whole world is debating the wearing of masks - why in the hell would we cancel the one event where wearing masks is not just allowed, it is expected?!? I don’t get it and you shouldn’t either. Here at the Allman Halloween Group, we are in full prep mode. Let’s get started with the preliminaries.
It is tradition that the horror movie preseason consists entirely of films that you can stream with your Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime subscriptions. Some will require the Shudder add-on which you can buy for a month for about the same price as a Venti Pumpkin Spice Latte from your favorite barista. Both are totally worth it. And I snuck a Vudu item into the mix, but it won’t cost you anything but a login ID and password. I just think you should get down with Vudu if you haven’t already.
We ease into the preseason with a Netflix selection, Two Sentence Horror Stories. This series consists of eight 20-minute vignettes, each summarized in two sentences. The full series is a 2½ hour watch but it’s early in the season, so feel free to pace yourself and grab one or two episodes at a time. What follows are three weeks of streaming content new to the moviefest. In fact, most of the preseason line-up is new to the moviefest – something that I am particularly proud of this year. I included three films from various seasons of The Last Drive-In hosted by Joe Bob Briggs. And it’s not because these are amazing movies – they are B movies by definition – but because this is my chance to share the genius that is Joe Bob Briggs. Fronted by John Bloom, Joe Bob Briggs is a renowned drive-in movie critic and funny as Hell - how have I not heard of him before? Shout out to my horror-themed social media groups for the recommendation. Shudder is required to enjoy these selections from past movie marathons and be warned that not all movies from the marathons are available due to licensing restrictions. Still, there is plenty to choose from if this is your jam, and I hope it is.
I also somehow missed the 2019 series reboot of Creepshow last year and its 12 original tales of horror. You can easily get through the series in two days even with a day job - but again, feel free to take your time. It’s totes worth it. And before you call me out for my count of moviefest first-timers, you should know that that the 2017 made-for-television Truth or Dare is not the same as the 2018 movie with the same name that used Snapchat style filters to build suspense. I can’t say for sure if one is a remake of the other, just that they both share the same basic plot.
Speaking of films that share names, The Houses October Built is a 2014 found-footage film that is a remake of the 2011 documentary. If you watched the documentary and found yourself a little bored, check out the remake. I think it is one of the best found-footage films out there with plenty of jumps and scares that you might expect from an underground haunt experience – and a few things that you might not expect.
I was hesitant to include Terrifier on this list because it is truly one of the most disturbing horror movies I have ever seen. Art the Clown is unmistakable in his appearance and the character is popular among Halloween costumes and décor, so I thought you might find it handy to know where he comes from. You can also find him in All Hallow’s Eve, an equally disturbing film that is only available for rent or purchase, or with certain premium channels. You can find the original short on YouTube if you want less or more of Art the Clown. I put this selection down for a Wednesday to make sure the kiddos are safely in bed if you want to check it out.
Midsommar is an equally kid-unfriendly movie but only slightly less disturbing in a Hereditary sort of way. This film is a slow burn with a background theme that is almost hypnotic right through the closing credits. I suggested this film for a Tuesday night because Monday is family night and apparently Wednesday is the most popular night for first dates. Midsommar is not a first date film.
You might be tempted to skip We are Still Here because it is a stupid title for a movie. No offense meant to the producers but the only title in horror cinema that could possibly be worse is Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama. And if you think I’m making that one up, you didn’t take the Joe Bob Briggs bait. We are Still Here is a pretty decent horror film and deserves a look. Sorority Babes? Well, that is a Joe Bob Briggs “must see” in my book so you decide if you want the extra credit.
I put The Bye-Bye Man on the preseason because it hasn’t been on Netflix before so this favorite of mine is easiy accessible if you have missed it up until now. The Mine aka Abandoned Mine is the one preseason film on Vudu - and apparently some other free channels if you have Roku or Fire TV. Just know that this truly free content comes with commercials but small price to pay for any movie filmed in Utah and set on Halloween.
I’ll close the preseason preview with The Witching Season which is scheduled for the last weekend in September. This anthology has made a regular appearance on the moviefest since I discovered it about 4 years ago. I ran across the director in one of the aforementioend social media groups and I’m thrilled to see that he has a full-length film based on the anthology coming out this season. They Live Inside Us will be available on October 6 so catch up on your stories because it’s about to get real.
You can’t stop Halloween and so the preseason begins!
